Types of gay men and women
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While many loved ones later told me that they suspected that I was gay, no one gave me any reason to believe that they were gay-friendly. Some of my friends and family members still made occasional homophobic jokes in front of me. While I was no longer harassed about my closeted sexual orientation, I didn’t have any friends that were openly gay and most of my friends didn’t have any either. I didn’t tell anyone about the bullying (not my parents, teachers, or anyone) because admitting that I was being teased for being gay would mean that I was admitting to being gay. I learned to walk by without showing any reaction I could not let them know that it bothered me, or else I would be proving to them that I was indeed gay. When I walked by them in the halls, they called me a “faggot” or screamed my name in a flamboyant tone. When I was a teenager, there were a few boys at my high school who ridiculed me, almost everyday. My parents and other adults in my life would tell me things like “Boys don’t cry” or “Be a man!” which essentially was their way of telling me that being emotional was forbidden or a sign of weakness. I would usually laugh along, hoping with all my might that they didn’t know my secret. When I was a little kid, I used to hear my brothers, cousins, and friends say things like “That’s so gay!” on a pretty regular basis.
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Nadal, PhD ( Associate Professor of Psychology, John JayĬollege of Criminal Justice – City University of New York)